<![CDATA[holidays]]>

Flying the Friendly Skies: How We Can Make the Whole Thing Less Stressful

November 22, 2023 by Ward Clark Leave a Comment

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. President Biden has predictably screwed up the traditional turkey pardon, everything costs more, and on top of all that, it’s travel season. A lot of folks will be traveling the friendly skies today, and many will also take to the skies at Christmastime as well; part of the joy of the holidays is visiting people we love who live some distance away. But while we love the visits, the actual travel can be stressful and aggravating.

Speaking as someone who, for many years, traveled for a living, having done business all over North America as well as Asia, Europe, and Africa, I have some ideas on how air travel could be made a lot less stressful.

First, the “what the local government or the airlines can do” list:

Make it easier to get to the airport. Anchorage, our home airport, is easy to get in and out of, but it’s not a big airport and in a smallish city, so that helps (if only they would finally finish screwing around with the parking garage.) I would list the now-completed Boston Big Dig as an example of a vast improvement in airport access, and having flown in and out of Logan a fair amount over the years, I must agree that Logan is now much easier to get to than it was, but Logan is across the harbor from the city proper, and therefore an unusual case. I’ve flown in and out of Denver a lot, and the Denver airport is very easy to get in and out of, as it is built on the eastern plans with nothing but prairie around. These things can be evaluated case by case, but it’s not a panacea. Also, this is something municipalities should do; the airlines can’t rebuild highways or dig tunnels.

Oh, and if you’re planning travel and have any choice in connections, the best airports to connect through or fly in/out of (in my opinion) are Denver, Salt Lake City, Frankfurt, and Kansai (Osaka.) The worst: O’Hare, Hartsfeld (Atlanta), Newark, Toronto, and Johannesburg.

As for the airlines: Fix the seating and make persons of girth buy two seats.

Once, on an evening trans-continental flight from Newark to San Diego, my wife and I took the aisle and middle seats in our row and were fortunate enough to find the window seat unoccupied, allowing us to stretch out some and have a comfortable flight. Better still, I once took the 13-hour Osaka-San Francisco flight on the aisle seat of the five-seat middle row and was the only person in the row; I stretched out, rolled up in a blanket, and slept most of the flight.

But those experiences are the exception to the rule and one that brings up another question: Why should it be such a relief to find an empty seat next to yours? The answer is simple: Because normal Economy seats are so cramped as to make flying, especially for those over 5’6″ or so, miserable. (My wife has no issues with her 4’11” height and tiny frame, so she’s the lucky one.)

Granted, I’m 6’1″, with the normal girth of a late-middle-aged guy in decent shape. I can, nevertheless, fit within the confines of my own modern airline seat – barely. But I was once seated next to a 400+ pound behemoth who spilled into my seat by a considerable margin and had to demand reseating; to my good fortune, I was moved into a bulkhead row, into one of the empty seats that was available on that flight. If there had been no empty seats, there would have been a major problem.

The airlines could do a lot to make the desirability of empty seats unnecessary. Two things come immediately to mind: First, increase the pitch between seats back to pre-2000 levels. Second, demand passengers of extraordinary girth pay for two seats. If they can fit in a first-class seat and that’s cheaper than two regular seats, that works, too.

I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Next, the “what passengers can do” list:

Complain when it’s justified. Remember that you get what you pay for, but you should get all of what you pay for. It’s common to hear people claim that passengers unhappy with ever-shrinking airline seats should shut up and shell out some shekels for an upgraded seat; United, my airline of choice, charges as much as $105 for the slightly roomier Economy Plus seats. I disagree that passengers should meekly accept being squeezed ever tighter; a little judicious bitching might just reverse this trend.

Also, people should stop bringing all their earthly belongings along. You can always spot the amateur travelers, not least because they are usually struggling to check in with a dozen suitcases and the family dog and spending time arguing over the checked-bag fees. But what really burns my bacon is the chap who brings an enormous backpack in and tries to stuff it in the overhead bin, taking up the entire space. The airlines do provide guides to see if your bag is within the allowable carry-on dimensions, but they rarely bother to enforce these rules; the schmuck with an enormous dog-coffin “carry-on” is all too often allowed to proceed.

Finally, control your kids. Yes, it’s great to take the kids along to visit the grandparents, their cousins, and so on. But it’s troublesome, especially on an evening or worse, red-eye flight, to have kids kicking the backs of seats or running up and down the aisles. Keep your kids in check, in fact, not just on the airplane but everywhere.

Flying is stressful enough as it is. We shouldn’t have to put up with cramped seating, overflowing passengers, oversized carry-ons, and unpleasant jerks in the bargain.

How to Deal With Annoying Leftists During Family Holidays

November 20, 2023 by Ward Clark Leave a Comment

Some years back, my mother-in-law, as fine a lady as ever drew breath, passed a unilateral rule for the family at family holiday events, dinners, and so on: No discussion of religion or politics at family events. That ended up being a good idea; while the whole family is on the right side of the political spectrum, my brothers-in-law are paleocon, social-issues conservatives, while I am a minarchist libertarian, enough of a difference to provoke some good-natured but spirited debate.

My own parents, when they were still with us, had a similar rule, for more compelling reasons; my siblings, early-cohort Boomers, are still engaged in their late ’60s and early ’70s hippie-leftist politics. I love my siblings, but we don’t talk politics.

More families should follow that advice. But some don’t, and for those folks, The Federalist has published “A Guide To Surviving Your Miserable Leftist Guests At Thanksgiving Dinner.” There are some good bits of advice and some not-so-good bits.

The danger most commonly manifests itself in the passive-aggressive dinner- or drinks-time dare. The septum-pierced undergrad who dares you to have a difference of opinion on Gaza being an “open-air prison.” The cat-lady aunt who dares you to say otherwise on the “threat to democracy” (anyone who disagrees with her, ie. you). The 30-something cuckold who dares you to have the wrong answer to his intrusive query of who “got their booster.”
They say what they want with impunity. The expectation is everyone present accepts it to get along. If not, the belief is you’ll be outsmarted and overwhelmed by their mastery of argument. Should they be countered with a superior, more popular perspective, the game isn’t over. They’ll scream. And just as likely, they’ll cry. Evening ruined. Mission accomplished.

That’s the advantage of the rule my mother-in-law imposed. As soon as a leftist relative starts in, hold up a hand: “No politics at the table. No politics at family gatherings. If you don’t like it, there’s the door.” That’s harsh, but it’s a lesson that all but the most stone-skulled should be able to absorb.

I do see value in this suggestion:

Invite them to relax, cheer up, and share in the joy of the season. Happiness, amusement, and contentment are not the natural disposition of leftists. They prefer anger, self-righteousness, and dismay. The most wonderful time of year quickly approaches, though it makes no difference. But it very well might be because they don’t feel explicitly included by their family and loved ones. After all, leftists are nothing if not self-absorbed, neurotic, and needy.

This is the best suggestion. If you can, push the conversation in another direction. Emphasize the joyous aspects of the holiday. Ignore the initial snide remarks and see if they back off. If they don’t, remind them of the no-politics rule. What you don’t want to do is engage them in the discussion; there is a time and a place for such things, and family holiday gatherings are not that place. That’s why I don’t see value in this suggestion:

With caution, engage the conversation. This option only works if done under the assumption the interaction is sure to become acrimonious. It’s nothing for a liberal to call family members — to say nothing of perfect strangers — racist, bigoted, and uneducated.

No. Just no. This will descend into a shouting match nine times out of ten and add stress and discord to what should be a happy occasion. Never engage.

Belittle, debase, and denigrate the cheerless sourpuss. This is generally a last resort to cope with the miserable liberals known to repeatedly spread their blight in such gatherings; the ones who can be counted on to radiate discontent and decay, infusing holidays with their unique poison.

Now, this is just childish. Let the lefty relatives be petty and childish if you like, but before you insult or belittle a family member, keep the high ground and just show them out.

People with wildly different political opinions are capable of setting those differences aside on family and social occasions. My siblings, while we disagree on many things, remain siblings, and we still follow our parents’ rules at our annual sibling reunion. That’s the best way, most of the time, to handle this.

There are enough outside influences making the holidays bothersome. Don’t let them inside your home. It’s a family holiday. Set the ground rules in advance. The day is supposed to be happy. And, yes, blood is supposed to be thicker than water. Above all else, keep the high ground. Don’t get drawn into an acrimonious, angry shouting match. If the lefty relative won’t back down, politely direct them to the door and tell them they are welcome to come back when they leave their politics at the door.

In My Life: This Sweet Holiday Commercial Hits All the Right Notes

November 18, 2023 by Susie Moore Leave a Comment

Alright. I’m just going to get this out of the way up front. Yes, the commercial I’m about to discuss is a shameless tug at the heartstrings, but humor me here: Couldn’t we all use a little more sweetness in our lives these days? (If your answer is no, bah humbug to you, Scrooge.)

A couple of years ago, it was Chevrolet that did the tugging. Joe Cunningham perfectly captured the magic of a daughter’s love letter to her father — in the form of a beloved, restored convertible. In case you missed it or need a refresher: Did Chevrolet Have to Make America Cry With Its New Christmas Ad?

Lately, I’ve been finding myself swimming in nostalgia. Whether it was contemplating the wonder of The Beatles and the technology that made the release of their new old single possible (The Beatles ‘Now and Then’ Short Film Is Mind-Blowing, Hearing John Lennon’s Voice Clearly 40 Years On), reflecting on my law school days as I attended my 30-year law school reunion in Chicago, or mourning the untimely loss of a Friend, I’ve spent a good amount of time looking back fondly on simpler times.

I suppose it’s understandable. With the world as chaotic as it seems these days, why wouldn’t we long for happier, less complicated days?

So it was that I found myself on this late fall Saturday afternoon, watching Hallmark. (I watch news basically 24/7 during the week. Cut a gal some slack.) During a commercial break, I got up to get something from the kitchen. From the family room, I heard the unmistakable refrain from a Beatles classic.

I was drawn back to the TV to determine the context. And this is what I was treated to:

The scene opens on three elderly ladies seated together on a park bench looking up at a snow-filled hill, with kids sledding down it. One lady winces as she sits down gingerly. Another squints up at the sledders through her glasses, the eyesight not what it once was.

At first, it wasn’t clear what the lady on the left was ordering on her phone. But soon, it became apparent. And while, yes, we might have to suspend our disbelief a bit to envision these extra-golden girls actually braving a snowy descent on sleds in their current state, we’re treated to their joy and laughter, as well as their memories of long-ago sled rides, when joints didn’t ache, and eyes saw clearer, and playing in the snow with your friends was everything.

In those moments, all that mattered was the laughter and fun and friendship.

So this year’s tearjerker ad comes to us from Amazon. And we can think what we want about the e-commerce giant or its owner, but the team that created this commercial knew what they were doing. Combining that song with that scene, well, it’s pitch-perfect.

I’m not going to lie; it had the tears streaming for me (and still, even as I write this), but I think we’ve established that I’m a sap in addition to not being all that far behind these ladies myself.

It isn’t just a message for ladies-of-a-certain-age, though. It’s a reminder that as sweet and simple as the days of our youth may have seemed, there’s no time like the present to share laughter and fun with the people we hold dear.